Surrounded by no onlookers or hordes of screaming fans Tag fulfilled a 2 minute long dream and became an official of the Church of the Latter Day Dude at 3am the 17th of January, 2010. Using a pseudonym because new shit has come to light, Tag went on to say
"uh no Not on the rug man!"
Strong men also cry
Just tell me where the fuck
you want us to go, man
I'll just check with the boys
down at the crime lab
if you will it dude. It is no dream
fucking Quintana, that creep can roll
her life is in your hands, dude
to use the parlance of our times
I'm getting to your rug, Jeffrey
well, I lost my train of thought here
It's uh, it's down there somewhere
Lemme take another look
the goddamn plane has crashed
into the mountain
there's no fucking reason
here's my point, Dude
there's no fucking reason
fuck it, let's go bowling.
ReplyDeletedo you have to be a dude to get ordained?
methinks we have watched a certain movie a few times too many. or not enough.
never mind. i'm in. now i have 3, count 'em, 3, ordinations! all legal! i'm pretty sure i'm enlightened.
ReplyDelete3 must be the magic number. We have covered 3 of 4 bases. I'm pretty sure his dudeness is ordained in the Universal Life church.
ReplyDeleteThis is my OCD at work. I downloaded the damn script to the movie. The marmot ate it. Nihilists.
ReplyDeleteFuck it, Dude. Let's go bowling. Oh wait, that's been taken. Fucking reactionary!
ReplyDeleteCan't dudettes get ordained too? I've already been excluded by one Latter-Day Religion. I'm not sure I can take rejection by another - I guess I'm just not casual enough...about anything. Sorry, it's been too long since I saw the movie so I can't jump in and quote it. You guys are cooler than cool though.
ReplyDeleteDude has no gender dude. And if your stuck for something to say "Shut the fuck up, Donny" or "this aggression will not stand" works just fine.
ReplyDeletethere's only one inviolable tenet- Take er easy, dude!.
Tag, you are like a dog with a bone. I LIKE a good obsessive!
ReplyDeleteSaturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking roll! Shomer shabbos!
Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
And, I would like my undies back.
But my all time favorite, the two words guaranteed to break me up no matter what else is going on: Nice marmot!
Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug, uh, regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber.
ReplyDeleteLeads, yeah, sure. I'll just check with the boys down at the crime lab, they've got four more detectives working on the case. They got us working in shifts!
ReplyDeleteDarkness warshed over the Dude - darker'n a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night. There was no bottom.
Anon, we crave the money, Lebowski.
ReplyDeleteWe speak in neither jest nor fallacy.
We could do such stuff as dreams do feature,
Believing in nothing; empty and void.
Tomorrow if thou hast not the ransom
We shall recourse, and cut off thy Johnson.
Prithee say nay! The knave needeth his Johnson. The strumpets await.
ReplyDeleteYou said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
ReplyDeleteD'ya have to use s'many cuss words?
What the fuck are you talking about?
I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there, the Dude, takin' her easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes The finals. Welp, that about does her, wraps her all up. don'tcha think
ReplyDelete