Image by James Marvin Phelps (mandj98) via FlickrDude! Tiger, WTF? You made a billion dollars swinging a damn golf club, you're gonna walk into some country club today and say
"Oh I'm sorry, I let my fans and my family down. Here please take my testicles as a symbol of my deep and everlasting regret."
Fuck That! I don't want to hear it.
Here's what I want to hear:
"Elin, Honey I'm Tiger "fuckin Woods, Best damn golfer in the world. Every couple a hours I need to get my club cleaned and sweetie you ain't gettin' it done. So here's a couple a hundred million now take your skinny ass and get the fuck out! Back to Sweden or whatever country you came from."
"America, you can kiss my ass too! Ain't no motherfucker out there with half my talent, half my money and half my Johnson ain't gonna do the same got-damn thing. An' you motherfuckers know it." Now, I'ma go find myself some bitches an' get my balls cleaned. ya unnerstand"
Oh, Tag, you got me with this one! Well done! Worthy of Erin O'Brien, even.
ReplyDeleteOne does want to see that Tiger roar in the jungle. If he was that wimpy in the sack, he wouldn't have racked up all those conquests.
My favorite part was where you said Elin had a skinny ass.
ReplyDeleteI also find unbelievable that people worry so much for who sleeps with who. It doesn’t matter how good your are at whatever you do, if you happen to have a constant craving for sex and you like to satisfy it in others waters, people will penalize you for that!
ReplyDeleteAnd then we talk about freedom!
Thank you Tag for your hilarious and provocative post.
loveNlight
Gabi
Is golf really a sport?
ReplyDelete