So you know I don't like this.

Sweetness Octave Asiim-Engineer

I'm covered in fake blood and other people's sweat. I can't hear. I whacked heads with a stranger, got punched in the face and kicked out of the Norva. Thank you, Mikey, Shawn and Amber for the best night I've had in a long time.

Winter Weather Expected to Dominate Conversations of Boring People

Statements of the Obvious Pound the Northeast

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Tedious observations about the severe winter weather are expected to dominate the conversations of uninteresting people for the next 24 to 48 hours, boredom experts warned today.

With blizzard conditions blanketing the Northeast, a powerful front of mind-numbing weather-related banter is expected to pound the Eastern Seaboard from Sunday into Monday, with statements of the obvious stretching from the Carolinas to New England.

"Blizzards like this are when boring people really come alive, unfortunately," said Dr. Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota's Meteorology Institute. "I would advise everyone to stay inside and avoid all contact with dull individuals unless it's an absolute emergency."

Tracy Klugian, 57, a prominent bore from Cincinnati, Ohio, said that she planned to take a break from her scrapbooking hobby to post Facebook updates about the weather on an hourly basis.

"I live for days like this," said Ms. Klugian. "I've already said 'so much for global warming' ten times today."

Ms. Klugian said she was spending the afternoon calling friends and relatives "to ask if it's cold enough for them."

"I sure have a lot to say about this snow and everything," she said. "I can't wait until somebody picks up."

Saturday Masters - Jerry Jeff Walker

Merry Christmas Buckaroos!

For all my wet friends

Rain

by Shel Silverstein

I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.

I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can't do a handstand--
I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said--
I'm just not the same since there's rain in my head.

Read more: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/rain/#ixzz18tVEuGDI

Saturday Masters

Nature by Numbers from Cristóbal Vila on Vimeo.

Americans Always Do Things Wrong

By Daniel Florien on April 18, 2010 in Jokes, Politics.

Here’s a joke about Americans I found on the internets a few days ago:

* * *

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog.

The war weary soldier asked, “Please, ma’am, may I sit in that seat?” The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, “You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can’t you see my Little Fifi is using that seat?”

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, “Please, lady. May I sit there? I’m very tired.”

The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, “You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!”

The soldier didn’t say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.

An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, “You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you’ve thrown the wrong bitch out the window.”

Saturday Masters - Todd Snider

More Borowitz, Less GOP

DECEMBER 7, 2010

In Latest Compromise with GOP, Obama Agrees He is a Muslim

Place of Birth ‘Negotiable,’ President Says

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In his latest effort to find common ground with Republicans in Congress, President Barack Obama said today that he was willing to agree that he is a Muslim.

Differences over his religious orientation have been a sore point between the President and his Republican foes for the past two years, but in agreeing that he is a Muslim Mr. Obama is sending a clear signal that he is trying to find consensus.

“The American people do not want to see us fighting in Washington,” Mr. Obama told reporters at the White House.  “They want to see us working together to improve their lives, and Allah willing, we will.”

But Mr. Obama’s willing to back down on his claim of being a Christian does not seem to have satisfied his Republican opposition, as GOP leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) today insisted that the President must also agree that he was born in Kenya.

While Mr. Obama did not immediately agree to Rep. Bohener’s demand, he hinted that yet another compromise might be in the offing: “My place of birth has been, and will always be, negotiable.”

White House sources indicated today that the President might be willing to meet the GOP halfway on his birthplace and say that he was born in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

Elsewhere, moments after his capture in London, WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange said, “I knew I shouldn’t have signed up for Foursquare.”

Get the Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox for free here.

The Los Angeles Times says Andy Borowitz has “one of the funniest Twitter feeds around.”  Follow Andy on Twitter here.

The Borowitz Report

DECEMBER 6, 2010 WikiLeaks Attempts to Expose Palin’s Thoughts, Finds Nothing Hacking Former Governor’s Brain Proves Fruitless NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – WikilLeaks has finally met its match. That’s the bombshell from fugitive founder Julian Assange, who said that after months of hacking former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s brain, WikiLeaks has come up empty. “I challenge the best hackers in the business to have a look inside,” he said, speaking from an undisclosed location.  “There’s nothing there.” Mr. Assange, still on the run from authorities, said that once his team of hackers gained access to Gov. Palin’s brain, “What little we found there was so encrypted it bore no resemblance to any recognizable language.” The WikiLeaks founder said that his discovery about Gov. Palin’s brain is good news for her political future: “Most politicians have to worry about their private thoughts coming back to haunt them, but that clearly isn’t going to be a problem for her.” For her part, Gov. Palin seemed to be relishing her role as the one politician in the world who has nothing to fear from WikiLeaks. On Twitter, she addressed the following message to Mr. Assange: “How’s that Wiki-Leaky thing workin out for ya?” Get the Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox for free here.

Saturday Masters - Crosby, Stills, Nash and ,,, Vandross?

Shameless Promotion or Wild Alice Dreams

Shari has opened a shop on Etsy to sell her primitive Christmas ornaments..
 Here are some examples:

I have to admit that I don't understand their appeal but she had sold 3 within an hour of opening. Please check it out here Wild Alice Dreams or google "etsy" then "buy" then from he drop-down box select "sellers" then type in "wildalicedreams" 

Maybe the world isn't going to hell after all.

 In these videos Hans Rosling explains in an entertaining and informative way why the world is not necessarily going down hill.

"The seemingly impossible is possible. We can have a good world." - Hans Rosling

Can someone bring me a cup of cocoa?