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Manic Monday – The South Park Edition
I'm going to Hell! I know it, I
accept it there it is simple and straightforward; I'm going to Hell!
3AM Portsmouth Naval Hospital a low
grade kidney infection has me in my home away from home. Between
blood draws and vital sign checks my simple little brain is spinning
at warped speed.
And Chef said “Now Chirrun I have
a little story to tell you about the Little Baby Jesus and I want you
to pay attention and learn from it, OK?”
Little Baby Jesus hoppin through
the forest, scoopin' up the field mice and boppin 'em on dey head.
'Aww Chef, was is this shit?'
'Shut up ya evil little bastards and
pay attention! Now where was I, Oh yeah...'
'So the clouds parted and the skies
opened and the archangel Gabriel came down from heaven and said:
Little Baby Jesus I don't want to see
you scoopin' up the field mice and bopping 'em on dey head!'
But the next day...
Little Baby Jesus hoppin through the
forest, scoopin' up the field mice and boppin 'em on dey head.
So the clouds parted and the skies
opened and the Archangel Michael came down from heaven and said:
'Little Baby Jesus I don't want to see
you scoopin' up the field mice and bopping them on dey head!!! I'll
give you one more chance.'
But the next day...
Little Baby Jesus hoppin through the
forest, scoopin' up the field mice and boppin 'em on dey head!
And the clouds parted and the sky
opened and the aether was filled with a brilliant golden light!
And God came down from de Heavens...
And God said...
Little Baby Jesus my son, my beloved! I
sent the Archangel Gabriel and the Archangel Michael to straighten
out your bad behavior, but I see that sterner measures are in order
so I'm calling on the Jews!!
'People of Israel, This is my son who I
dearly love but he has misbehaved and needs a punishment. What do you
suggest?'
'We need him crucified that's all you
have to do! Crucify him! Crucify him!'
'Very well Jews, you do realize he is
your Messiah, long awaited?'
'Crucify him!'
'SO BE IT!! Take him to Pilate...'
And Pilate asked, 'What is truth?
And so the Little Baby Jesus was hung
from a cross with nails through his hands and feet!
'Jesus Christ Chef, what the hell?'
Exactly right Chirrun 'What the hell”
I'm here from heaven to give you your first warning, don't you be
scoopin up the field mice or other furry animals and be boppin em on
dey head, and no more oil spills either, and don't be greedy bastards
like your parents or you will be nailed to de cross and lef'' out to
die.
Do I make my point clear Chirrun?”
